You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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