it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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