I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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