my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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