our cab driver is having phone sex.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
