school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
