Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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