Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
