my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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