Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
