Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
God, I missed his penis.
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