$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize