have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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