think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
