How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
