So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
