problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
