am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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