As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
