Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
