If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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