When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
