She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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