Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
