your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize