ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to make out with him forever
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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