her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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