Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
