How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
