all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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