I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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