Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
