I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
