I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
