Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
