u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
