So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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