K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
