She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize