i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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