I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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