Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize