definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize