Your tits are I can't wait for
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
