So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
