Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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