she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
