my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize