waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she pinky promised me she was 18
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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