my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
