So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i think my tv is drunk
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
