Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
