I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This baby is an asshole
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
