We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
