I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize