Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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