If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
