you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
