and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize