I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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