I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish I only lived at night.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
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Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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