Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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