I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
