If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize