Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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