I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize