he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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